What can a healthy relationship actually give us?
- Inspiration to do good: When people who matter to us treat us well and understand us well, we tend to get inspired to do something good that they can feel happy about and proud of, without compromising on our values.
- Healthy self-expression: The goodness that a good relationship instills within us, makes us become sensitive to others’ emotions and also gives an opportunity to express our emotions in a healthy way rather than suppressing them and holding on to them. We try not to hurt others with our words or deeds; rather, we try to communicate in a polite yet way.
- Fulfillment in life: Achieving great things in life at the cost of losing our valuable relationships leaves our heart empty and renders our life meaningless. Such achievements may give momentary happiness but not the fulfillment of the heart. When we have healthy relationships where people value us for who we are, we try to achieve things not to show how great we are but to contribute to the well-being of others around us. This leads to having fulfillment in life.
What is required to build a healthy relationship?
- Compassion: When we know we are really good at something, instead of being arrogant we should consider ourselves as very fortunate, and use that particular gift to help others become better in an empowering way. Great relationships build on helping each other to grow in life.
- Time: Any relationship we want to build requires time. If we don’t invest time in knowing a person, we will tend to judge him/her more than understanding who s/he actually is.
- Tolerance: Just like how we struggle with our minds and senses, others also have their own struggles. If we want to build healthy relationships, then we need to be tolerant. What is easy for us may not be easy for others, we need to tolerate to a considerable extent before we expect any positive change in them.
- Service: If we consider the other person as an object that can give us pleasure by serving us (so to say) or our purpose in some way, then we will surely make our relationship miserable. It is by serving the other person with affection that we can build strong relationships. Serving not because we are inferior to them or we are obliged to, but because we find fulfillment in making them happy through our service.
- Peace with self: Before we go on changing the world outside, we have to spend a considerable amount of time in knowing ourselves. We complain about people not understanding us, but how much do we understand ourselves? If we don’t introspect and take initiatives to improve to be at peace with ourselves, we will not be able to form any good relationship with others.
- Connection with God: The conflicts we have in our relationships are, often, because we are living a self-centered life, in which all that we do is focused around ‘how can I make myself or my people happy?’. But, when we form a strong connection with God by knowing Him, remembering Him, and applying His teachings in our life, we go beyond ‘me and mine’. We will find it much easier to become compassionate and tolerant towards others. The intent to serve others cannot be cultivated without serving the Supreme Lord.
The journey of building healthy relationships with all may look like a gigantic task. The circumstances that we go through may be so overwhelming that we may not feel like investing time to focus on improving our relationships.
But, by expanding our vision and being conscious about what we are losing by having unhealthy relationships, as a first step, we can at least try to regulate all our inimical thoughts and behaviors towards others. Gradually we can try to improve our all-important relationships by taking other small and simple steps.
Thank you.
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Author
Sriharsh Vaidya
(Pranic Psychotherapist and Licensed Practitioner of NLP)
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Too good annayya . Now a days so many people facing the relationship problem , simply breakup things happening in Frinedship , love and married life too . Lack of acceptance and lack of trust , benefit of doubt so many people loosing their best one’s .
Always people have the dicease called – Am right , logical thinking missing psychological emotions from both sifters point of view. Extraordinary article annayya , God must have a plan on you to reach your wisdom to his children’s ( people) to be happy and stay healthy with their loved one’s. 🙏🙏🙏